Questions For Your Family

Need a little help answering the “Questions For Your Family” while reading You Were Meant For Me with your child? Here are some examples of ways to support questions your child may have. These are only meant to be possible responses, so of course let your child guide the conversation and answer in a way that is right for your family and your beautiful story.

Find the heart in the pile of “puzzle pieces”. Why do you think this is an important “piece of the puzzle” to make up a baby?

A heart is a symbol of love. Love is one of the most important pieces of the puzzle you need to make up a family. We loved you before we even knew you. That powerful love helped us when things were hard. That love gave us hope and encouragement to keep looking for all of the pieces we needed to grow you. Love is what family is all about.

Love grows and grows as we spend time together and care for each other. Love is what makes a family strong. The love that grows in a family lasts forever and can never be taken away. That love, just like me will always be there for you.

What other shapes do you see in the pile?

Sperm: The piece that looks like a worm or a tadpole is made by a man and is called sperm. Inside of the sperm are special shapes (X’s or Y’s) that give instructions for making a baby boy or a baby girl. The sperm has a tail that wiggles really fast to help it swim to where it needs to go to do it’s job.

Y: This shape is a piece of the puzzle that comes only from a man and lives inside of his sperm. This shape has special instructions inside of it to make up a boy baby.

X: This shape is a piece of the puzzle that is inside of a woman’s egg and man’s sperm and carries special instructions to make a baby girl. Women’s eggs are full of this shape, while men’s sperm can have either an X or a Y shape.

Uterus: This piece of the puzzle is only inside of a woman’s body and is a safe and warm place where a baby can grow. It takes a long time to grow a baby, and it doesn’t happen overnight. The uterus is like a special little pocket inside of a woman’s tummy where a baby can get all the things it needs to grow big and strong.

Some babies grow in their mommy’s uterus and some babies grow in another woman’s uterus. If another woman grows a baby in her uterus, that woman is called a “gestational carrier” and this situation is called surrogacy. After the baby grows big and strong inside of the gestational carrier, they are born. Right when that baby is born they go into the arms of their mommy or daddy and this is their family. The special woman that grew them will always be part of their story and their mommy and daddy will always love her for bringing their baby to them.

How does the doctor help them make a baby?

Doctors know all kinds of things. The special doctor that helped make you knows a lot about how babies are made. She knew what pieces we needed and how to find them. We were having trouble getting all of the pieces to fit together. This doctor helped us find them and put them together so you could start growing.

What pieces do you see the “wonderful, giving people” holding?
Are these the same pieces that the your mommy or daddy were looking for to make a baby?

These wonderful, giving people are also called “donors.” Because they all have different pieces of the puzzle and want to help, they give or “donate” these pieces to mommies and daddies like us that needed help. These pieces they “donate” can be sperm, eggs or embryos (which is is what you get when you mix an egg and a sperm together). Sometimes you may grow up knowing this person and sometimes you may not. These special people will always be a part of you and your story and we are so grateful to them for helping us grow you.

Additional questions for the You Were Meant For Me IVF version, without the help of donation

What jobs do the “wonderfully helpful people” do for your mommy and daddy so that you could grow?

Fertility Doctor - This special doctor knows a lot about how babies are made. She knows how to use science and medicine to help mommies and daddies make a baby. She can help a mommy’s body make eggs better and she can help daddies sperm get to where they are going faster. She loves helping families grow.

Embryologist - When mommies and daddies need help growing their family, this is a special scientist that knows a lot about how to put all the pieces together to make a baby. She is a “puzzle master”, and uses special tools and equipment to get the pieces to fit tight. After she puts the puzzle together, she watches you and makes sure you are safe and sound until it is time to put you in mommy’s uterus to grow.

Pharmacist - This is a person that works with the fertility doctor and knows how to make the medicine that can help a woman’s grow a baby. Sometimes when mommies need help making a baby they have to take pills or shots. This is how the medicine gets into their body so it can work. Even though the medicine can be yucky and shots can hurt, they would do it over and over again to grow their baby.

Acupuncturist - This is a person that knows a special technique using tiny little needles to help our body to be happy. Sometimes trying to have a baby can make a woman’s body tired. These tiny needles are put in special spots in her skin to help her body to work better. It may sound scary, but it doesn’t hurt.

Nurses - Nurses help mommies and daddies learn how to take their medicine and teach them all about what they will need to do to grow you. They help keep mommies and daddies strong and support them when making a baby gets hard and they get sad or discouraged.

Coordinators - There is a lot of work that goes into making a baby. This hard working person helps make sure everyone knows what to do. They help mommies and daddies along and make sure everything is running smoothly. Sometimes, if mommies and daddies need pieces of the puzzle, coordinators have the special job of helping families find the wonderful, giving people called “donors” that are willing to share their piece.