"Love Makes A Family" Blog Series: Growing Up With Dads
Celebrating the unique ways that families are made and the journey of
love that brings them together.
Meet Jeffrey & Bryce, two dads with two sweet babes Ridge & Rue! They grew their family with the help of a gestational carrier. They love exploring and will no doubt show Ridge & Rue how to live and love life to the fullest! Here’s a little Q&A with Jeffrey & Bryce to learn more about their journey of growing a family.
Q: there a preference of the term surrogate or gestational carrier? A: As we understand it, technically a surrogate donates her egg and carries the baby - they have a genetic connection.
A gestational carrier does not donate her egg and only carries the baby - there is no genetic connection. Realistically, we tend to use the two words interchangeably, but technically we had a gestational carrier, not a surrogate.
Q: What is the continuing relationship like after the birth?
A: It’s different for every family. We have an amazing relationship with our GC. We just went to the zoo together yesterday. We see each others family a couple of times a month. Going in to the process, we weren’t sure what kind of a relationship we wanted or would have - but we feel blessed to have the relationship we have. She is an important part of our children’s life. We love her and we love her family. We are very good friends.
Q: What are some things you would like people to know or understand about the journey to parenthood as a same sex couple?
A: Its hard and its expensive. There are lots of ups and downs. We went through several GCs and even our GC had previously matched with a family and it didn’t end up working out. There are so many steps along the way and if things don’t work out perfectly, you have to start over. There tends to be an idea that two dads just pick an egg donor and a surrogate and bam - its done. But that’s not the case, there is a lot of hard work & struggles along the way. Q: How do you plan on telling your children about how they were born?A: We feel its important to be open and honest with our kids and explain and teach them as they grow up. Honestly, our GC’s 4 year old son can explain surrogacy better than most adults, because his mother was open and honest and explained the whole process and what was happening in a way that he could understand. As our children grow, we plan on expanding their story and explaining more in an open and honest way.
Jeffrey & Bryce